I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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