i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
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After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
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I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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