is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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