never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
