He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
