I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
