i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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