Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
