I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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