That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize