Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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