dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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