after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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