at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's rum buckets o'clock
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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