Will you blow on my dice?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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