Where is the hickey?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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