wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
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I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I love you.
Bad choice
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