love makes seman taste better
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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