Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
