I want to have your abortion
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
