You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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