we have officially lost it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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