with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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