college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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