I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
