She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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