Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize