We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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