We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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