wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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