I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
