going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
