okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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