I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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