just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
