Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
