with your own penis?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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