so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
