I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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