omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
