I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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