There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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