O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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