Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He better not be in your backpack
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
