my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
