I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
