wakey wakey hands off snakey
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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