HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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