I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
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Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
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When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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