it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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