pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
