Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
