i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
