she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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