i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
