He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize