we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
